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Start Off The Brand New Year With A Brand New Family. One (1)
attractive and stylish family of four (mother, father, daughter, son included).
Father is a slightly balding, yet youthful, award-winning television writer,
inspirational author, children's novelist, and film director. Mother is a
gorgeous,
 multi-lingual homemaker with a penchant for crafting and cookery. 7
and 9 year old children are lovely and precocious, engaged in gifted school
programs. A steal with a 5 million dollar opening bid. ___________ This is a
serious offering and above all, a great investment opportunity for some savvy,
family-deprived multi-millionaire. If you are the highest bidder, you will
receive the adoration from two congenial children with an affinity for
heart-warming, homemade birthday cards and copiousness, candy-coated smiles for
both family and legal benefactors. All that, plus, my wife! A bright woman who
both supported me through the tough times and, believe it or not, hare-brained
ideas to survive those tough times. You'll not only get a wonderful new family,
but benefits beyond your wildest dreams. As well as my lasting thanks,
everything I write from this point on will be yours. That's right! You can be an
author without the drudgery of actually writing. Imagine the thrill of watching
you name flow by hurriedly on television and film credits. Children everywhere
will go to bed reading your words, repeating your name. Everyone wants to be a
director, well now you are one. And every single credit and award I win, is
yours. Who doesn't want to stand up before scillions of viewers and accept
marginal awards and accolades? The feeling is priceless, or in your case,
something over 5 million. Just imagine the pride you'll feel when you show up at
the children's school shows and Little League games. They'll be singing and
hitting one out for YOU! You'll be the envy of all the other billionaires as you
get to show off your new family at country club affairs, corporate picnics and
celebrity photo-ops. And there are other benefits... We will change our last
name to yours and our children will carry on your name and honor well after
you're gone. If you are unable to attend the children's school programs or
participate in family holiday dinners, monthly videos will keep you up to date
on your family's latest meaningful experiences. Every dollar I make, will be
yours, allowing only for exceptional school allowances at exceptional schools
for your kids, and "room" and board for ma and pa at an estate of our choice.
And if you want us to live close enough for your patriarchal (or matriarchal)
visits, we're there. Summer vacation is coming and we're looking forward to
spending it with YOU. (This is an advanced offering that can only be acquired by
bidding under the rules and regulations of eBay.com. Federal and state taxes
apply. Family members will not be sold separately. Children will apply until
they reach the age of 18. And the wife...well, can you say "platonic?" Of
course, since you cannot actually sell humans or their parts on eBay, this
should be considered a sale of complete family services. It's close enough.)
Steve Young is really an award-winning TV writer, author of "Great Failures of
the Extremely Successful," Tallfellow Press, "The 130 Tales of Winchell Mink,"
Harper Collins (Winter, 2003) and director/writer of "My Dinner With Ovitz"
Check out more on the Youngs and turning failures into success at:
www.greatfailure.com.
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